How I Learned to Stop Worrying and to Not Query Bomb Agents.

  Let's say you've written a book.  Fantastic! Now what?

I'll tell you what not to do...don't send out query bombs.

Just say no.

What are query bombs you might be asking?  If you have any kind of experience in trying to find an agent then you probably know EXACTLY what I'm talking about.   Query bombing is what happens right after you've finished your book and are so excited to get it out there that you write up a quick query after seeing one example and blanket every agent you can find with copies of your monstrous letter.  I know because I did it.  I query bombed ten-fifteen perfectly wonderful agencies and probably screwed up my chances with them as they likely took one look at it and tossed it over their shoulders muttering about ignorant authors.

Don't let an agent make this face at your letter.  This face=rejection.

If this is something that you have already done-don't worry.  From what I've read on many author blogs it's quite normal.  If you have managed to restrain yourself then learn from my mistakes.
Follow these rules and you will be well on your way to publication heaven:

1.) Craft your query letter carefully.  Look at examples of query letters that worked (Google) and read the blogs of literary agents-they give TONS of advice on this area!

2.) Research the agents you want to submit to.  Make sure that you know your genre and pick agents that are specifically looking for it.  Every single one had different guidelines-follow them!  You don't want to send your ten perfect first pages to an agent that wants to see just your letter first.

3.) Don't make stupid mistakes.  Spell the agent's name right and keep your letter short.  Try not to inflict eyestrain on a potential agent by making them read an epically long query letter.  They won't like that and might even send you their next optometrist bill.

4.) Rejection happens.  Don't let it stop you.  If you have thin skin then you may reconsider your publishing path.  Me? I've developed freaking crocodile scales to protect myself...

It's not pretty, but it keeps me sane.

You may be wondering-do I have an agent?  The answer is no...not yet, but I have had a nibble or two and that tells me that I'm on the right track.  Right now you're probably thinking-why should I listen to this woman?  She's handing out advice and she DOESN'T EVEN HAVE AN AGENT.
All I can say is that I am describing my own experiences as well as standing on the shoulders of authors and literary agents who know what their talking about. Go ahead and Google some of the stuff I said-it's all true.  Start at Query Shark (an awesome how-not-to-query/ good advice blog written by amazing agent Janet Reid) and work your way out.
Well go on!  Google it already!  If I'm wrong-tell me in the comments!  There is no better feeling in the world than the one you get proving someone else wrong.